When I was a kid, I always dreamed of becoming a young lady to earn money and get enough freedom to do and get things the way I wished. Now, when I really have grown up, I miss my childhood a lot. I really want to go back to my past and be the baby girl I was.

It was the 22nd of August, 2018. A normal shiny day for everybody. Like every evening, I had completed making dinner. I was waiting for my husband to enjoy our favorite hot and spicy Aloo ka paratha for dinner together.  After some time I remembered, in the morning he told me that he had a product release. He would be late today, therefore not to call again and again. It was 9 PM, the clock was running slower than usual. I turned on the TV to watch a movie. I thought I was wasting my time, instead I should prepare myself for a job interview. I started solving problems, practicing GK, etc. Within half an hour I started missing my friends badly. I called up one of my school friends. After talking for some time I decided to read a good novel. Half an hour later, when the wall clock indicated it was 11 PM, I was unable to control my hunger. I was sleepy as well. I called up my husband. Guess what, his phone was switched off! I was irritated. I tried to read the novel again but I could not concentrate. Around 11.30 pm it became intolerable.

I started thinking that my life is so boring. I have to cook, take responsibility for the family, above all I have to wait for someone every evening. I missed my mom, dad, and childhood days. From the deep of my heart I wanted to be the small baby like many years ago I was. Within a few minutes, Pari, a beautiful angel appeared in front of me. I heard about Pari in my childhood in my grandmother’s stories but never saw one before. I was amazed by her gorgeous bright look and a heavenly smile.

She came closer and sat next to me. She asked, “Are you bored?”. I nodded my head quickly. “Would you like to go back to your childhood?” she asked. I became happy and said “yes” immediately. She said you can go back in time only once, after that you can move forward as many times as you wish but can’t go back again. Whenever you feel like moving forward, just raise your hand, I will take you forward.  Without wasting any time, I requested her to take me to my childhood.

Childhood

Within a few minutes, I became a small baby girl. I was on my mom’s lap. My dad, uncles, grandparents were pampering me by making different looks and sounds. Oh!, how enjoyable the moment it was. Suddenly I was thirsty and started crying. My mom couldn’t understand why I was crying. She fed me different types of food, then tried Arnika, a homeopathy medicine used for all occasions. My dad showed me toys. But I was still crying. After a few minutes, my mom and dad started quarreling due to my nonstop crying. I could not enjoy the moment anymore. I raised my hand to move forward.

Pari took me a few years forward. That evening I was playing with my sister. How can I describe that awesome moment of my life? After some time my mom called us for snacks. My mom was feeding my sister and I was sitting beside her and having food alone. I didn’t like that, I was jealous of my sister. Annoyingly I raised my hand to move forward. Again Pari took me a few years forward.

Schooldays

Oh God!, I couldn’t imagine, I reached my school days. I was with my friends in the classroom. We were enjoying our literature class. During the lunch break, I had my mom’s special Luchi and Aloor dum, one of my favorite Bengali dishes. The bubble broke in the math class. I made a mistake with my homework. The teacher was shouting at me and told me to stand up on the bench. I wanted to escape. I did not stand up and chose to raise my hand to move forward.

Job

I moved a few years forward as I wished. I was getting ready to attend a job interview. That means I completed my education successfully. Yay! I was sitting in front of the interview panel. They were asking me questions after questions, but I could not answer most of them. I was thinking to myself that “I am not getting the job for sure so why to waste time here”. I was about to leave but then I was called to the office room and they informed me that I was selected. My parents became happy that I got the job but I was still puzzled. After a few months, I realized that the job was monotonous and very boring. I chose to move forward and raised my hand. I moved forward by a few years. 

Marriage

This time I reached the golden time of my life. I was married to a handsome boy and was enjoying the newly married days with my family. I started realizing the real meaning of life and was enjoying every bit of it. The company of my husband and the support of family members made my newly married days really enjoyable. Traveling to many places added their own color to make my days as beautiful as a rainbow.  But due to so many family responsibilities, sacrifices, etc. soon life became monotonous. I would not stay long at that stage. I wanted to get relief from that situation and raised my hand to move forward.

Happy Family

Pari took me to one of the beautiful stages of my life. I was enjoying my days with my kids – my sweet baby boy, and girl. I became fulfilled. The soft-touch of the small hands made me a passionate, stronger, and hard-working mother. Spending beautiful moments with kids, playing with them, I was lost in my beautiful family. At the same time, the other side of the coin was as dark as the lighter side. I had to get up at 5 AM in the morning for the preparation of their school and studies. The whole day I had to work a lot. After a few years, the lower bone of my back was displaced and I had to undergo spine surgery.  I could not enjoy those days anymore. l raised my hand to move forward. 

Old Days

In this stage, I did not have much work pressure. My days were mostly the same. My husband retired from his job. My daughter was married and she was staying with her husband. My son also was married and busy with his job and wife. I had a lot of free time to spend in my passion, reading, writing, and traveling but, I could not do any of those with focus. Slowly days started becoming colorless. I could not enjoy those days for long. I raised my hand. Pari took me a few years forward.

I became an old lady. My hair became gray, my handsome husband also became an old man with gray hair. I did not like living as an old lady. But I couldn’t raise my hand due to the fear of death. I started crying. I prayed to God again and again. I felt helpless. I couldn’t do anything but cried and cried and cried.

Returning to the Present

Suddenly, I heard a huge sound. I thought maybe my death came to me. After a few minutes, I realized the sound was quite known. I took a long breath and understood that our calling bell was ringing repeatedly. I stood up in a hurry and thanked God, really I did not become an old lady. It was my dream. It was 1:30 AM and my husband returned from his office. I was reading Robin Sharma’s “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’”. On page 190, there is a story of “Peter” who had a similar situation as mine.

From that moment I started living in the present only. No matter what the situation is, every bit of my life I am enjoying. In every stage of our life, we have some exciting, enjoyable moments and some are not so good moments. If we look back in our life, we’ll realize that the challenging situations made us stronger and helped us to overcome any difficult situation. I am requesting all of you to live in your present. If yesterday was lost in grief, don’t lose today and tomorrow by keeping it in your mind. Why waste time thinking about the past? We can’t make any changes to our past. Let’s do good at our present, the future will be great. When we stay in the present, everything is pleasant. 

Living in the Present
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